whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
