He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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