wat bout pragnant strippers??
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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