Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
