He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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