I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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