Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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