But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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