i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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