i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
