i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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