All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
