I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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