I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
