im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize