i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
