just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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