last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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