that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
