I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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