it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
this beer tastes like vomit already
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
