So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize