You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
