Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
