I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
