i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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