New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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