I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
