Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
someone owes me an orgasm
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
