I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize