i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
