oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
