If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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