I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
