I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize