DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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