I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
