Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize