so that wasnt chicken after all
oh god the rape fog is back!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
