yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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