Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
