are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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