No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sext me about skeletons
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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