i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize