Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
