so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
