Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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