I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
