3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
