i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She needs sedatives and a leash
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
