The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
