There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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