Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
