Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
