guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
