just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
