idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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