I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's blow job season.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize