dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize