I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
this will be a night to untag.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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