she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
