The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Is it penis luge time yet?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Randomize
