I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize