so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
