i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
