Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
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