He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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