watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
