On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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