I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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