Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
