I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
